Is it too early for smoke?

Its never too early. I should probably quit, though.

 

I fear I’m falling out of love. But, no worries because I’m also falling in…with this music artist I’ve found, Hjaltalin. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6g2tG6ctBg They’re fantastic &I suggest anyone bothering to read this stop &listen to that song. Now, this falling out that I’ve mentioned, I’m not really. But I am tired. I love my boyfriend, I want to share the rest of my life with him but its getting harder. I feel like hes just walking all over me sometimes &that hes not taking my concerns seriously. He has a hard time knowing what to say &I can’t keep feeding him lines. Hes wonderful, really. I’d like to think that he is trying, I know our lives have been stressful. But something has got to give soon &it may be me.  Anyways, its 11:04 am here in Ohio. I’ve only just waken up half an hour ago. I feel today will be lazy &I won’t accomplish much. But at least I’ve written this. I really need to get back into writing regularly. I have a journal that I neglect. Its easier to post online somehow. &I can’t link songs in a journal, so theres that. I haven’t anything else to say. Bye.

 

Diamond Ideozu

I don’t blog

I don’t do blogs.

I’ve never been one to blog but I think this shall be good for me. A lot of new beginnings to come here soon. New job, new start with my love, new travels, new perspective on life…perchance. I’m stressed a lot. I don’t always like starting new things. I like to think that I do but it scares me. Not sure why. I don’t like to mess with how things are just in case there is some sort of conflict. So, even if I don’t like how things, I try to leave it that way. Whatever keeps everyone happy, right? Sure. Currently I am listening to Young boys by Sin Fang. Not new. I should get back into new music. I used to love discovering new music constantly. But I’ve lost my touch with that part of happiness. I’ve been such a bore. No running, yoga, constant hang outs, drawing. I love to draw. Just for myself. I don’t want to disappoint others with expectations of how my art used to look &I don’t want to try to reach their expectations. I’ve just gotten lazy &somewhat listless, I suppose. Not just with my art but with most everything. I’m an INFP. Introverted, intuitive, feeling &perceiving. I’m a dreamer. You may say I’ve started to loose myself in others. Feeling kind of pressured when I shouldn’t. I want to make everyone happy, I always have. But I’ve got to go back into myself to be sure that I am still happy. You see? I don’t expect anyone to read this but me. But if you do read this, if you are reading this, know that I just want to be understood. Like everyone does. I want the best for everyone. I don’t mean to be selfish or mean or cruel. I don’t think I am, I try my best not to be. But sometimes I think I could be. Anyways, I’m going to go watch Being Human (Uk version) &eat some pizza. Good bye. Have the best day of your life. Or atleast try.

 

-Diamond Ideozu